Boundaries are difficult. There are volumes written about boundaries. It is spoken about frequently . Boundaries are also very necessary. Sometimes they can make us feel fenced in and almost claustrophobic. Other times, they are stretched so thin, that we may wonder if they are even there at all. I think that they key for boundaries is to make sure that you are fencing the right things in and keeping the right things out.
Here are some of the boundaries that I’ve had to set up in my life.
- Family. Perhaps this is on everyone’s list? I know that my extended family loves me and I know that they want what’s best for me. However, not every way in which they show it is the healthiest. I have to make sure that I have set up the proper boundaries around my immediate family and that I’m not allowing the “care” that my extended family shows to breach that. It shows my husband respect and allows us to do what is truly best for us.
- My spouse. I have to be very intentional with this one and keep proper perspective. With just the three of us, it is easy for familiarity to creep in. We are a close, tight-knit family and I am so very thankful for that. But I have to remember to show that just because we are all close, we are not all on equal footing. This is especially tough with having a teen in the house.
- Friends/Ministry. I had to learn early on that just because something is good to do doesn’t mean that you should do it. I am a reformed people pleaser. I hate to say no or disappoint anyone. I want to serve and help and love. However, I had to learn that sometimes saying no is the better option and will actually help and love more than saying yes would have.
- Self-care. I just learned a little more about this one and shared how vital it is. You have to ensure that you are taking care of your whole self as much as possible before you can begin to serve others. Proper mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual care is key. Even the flight attendants tell you to secure your own mask before helping someone else with theirs.
- God. This one is unique. Because rather than creating boundaries that keep something in or something else out, I’m learning to tear down the boundaries that I put around my God. Rather than boxing Him in and thinking that He can only help with this, or that He’s only interested in that, I’m figuring out that He wants to be there for ALL of it. I don’t have to put boundaries around Him or keep Him from things or out of things. Rather, when I allow Him into everything, no matter how big or small, it automatically makes that thing better, sweeter, lovelier.
What are some of your boundaries? Or how are you learning to employ them better?
This post is part of a linkup with mrsdisciple.com. Go here to check out even more on boundaries.