Discipline, Compromise, & Grace

 

This is kind of how my life goes.  I get really pumped about something and I do it… for a time.  Then life happens or I lose interest.  I’ve done it with diets, bible reading plans, hobbies, and projects.  I even recently read a book to help me conquer this attitude (5 Habits of a Woman who Doesn’t Quit by Nicki Koziarz – I highly recommend it).

For a good month, I’ve been doing well on watching what I eat, reading my bible, and turning off the tv (or actually the computer with DVD’s from the library) and reading something that won’t turn my brain to mush.  I was, dare I say, disciplined!  It’s something I strive for but rarely achieve.

Then I went to the grocery store while I was hungry.  I made it out with only a bag of gluten free chili lime crackers (that I ate in 2 days), but I’ve been growing undisciplined in my eating habits.  I’ve been placed on a special diet and I’ve been following it pretty well-ish.  But today after work I was hungry and EVERYTHING sounded so good.  Arby’s.  Dairy Queen.  Mexican restaurants.  Places that I haven’t been in years!

I wanted to give in and just eat something that sounded good.  It was difficult to find the willpower, desire, or faith to keep me from giving in.  Then I remembered what happened just a few days ago.  I was willing to “give-in” and indulged in a granola and yogurt parfait.  It was yummy!  And c’mon, it was yogurt – that’s healthy.  So, later that same day, I decided to treat myself to a Starbuck’s Frappuccino with cow’s milk.  And since I’d already blown it big time, I’ll just go ahead and eat some Monterrey jack cheese with dinner, too.

I’m sure you can guess what happened.  I’ll save you the details, but suffice it to say, my stomach wasn’t happy with me.  I tried to remember this as my husband and I debated on where and what to eat.  I tried to remember why I’m doing what I’m doing (to be the healthiest possible to serve God better).  And I’ll admit that it was tough.  I’m still struggling.  I ended up with a guacamole bacon burger with no cheese, no may, no bacon, no bun.  But I still got the steak fries (I’m not made of steel!).

The same is true with writing this blog and reading.  I’m doing my best to make myself do better especially on days when I’m struggling.  I’m writing today even though I don’t feel like it.  And I will admit that I haven’t picked up my book (When I Don’t Desire God by John Piper – SO good!) in a couple days and I didn’t do my Scripture reading today (yet!).

In the end, on your down days, you have to persevere.  Hold your feet to the fire even when you don’t want to.  Make compromises if you have to.  And give grace when you need to.